Self-Realization Fellowship Blog

“To Forgive Is to Have Peace of Mind” by Sri Daya Mata

April 05, 2023


Below is an excerpt from the book Finding the Joy Within You by Sri Daya Mata, who served as president and spiritual head of Self-Realization Fellowship/Yogoda Satsanga Society of India from 1955 until her passing in 2010.

Paramahansa Yogananda used to say that as a rose gives off fragrance when crushed, so the devotee of God, when crushed by unkindness, still exudes the sweet essence of love.

Forgiveness, with its soothing vibration of divine love, neutralizes the erosive agitation of anger, guilt, and hatred. In an imperfect world where goodness inevitably meets opposition, forgiveness is an expression of God-consciousness.

When we are ill-used, if, instead of condemning our offender, we grant pardon freely and wipe the slate of our consciousness clean, the result is that we earn for ourselves a blessed peace of mind.

Why is it sometimes so difficult to forgive and forget — to let go completely? The human ego demands vindication, and seeks it through vengeance or retribution; it feels superior while condemning. But this does not bring us peace.

We would be far happier if we rather listened to the true Self, the soul — which is sufficient unto itself — and canceled the wrongdoer's debt, praying, “Lord, bless him.” Do we not want God and others to excuse our errors? "Forgive and you shall be forgiven" is the divine law.

In the Hindu scriptures it is written: “One should forgive, under any injury....By forgiveness the universe is held together. Forgiveness is the might of the mighty; forgiveness is sacrifice; forgiveness is quiet of mind. Forgiveness and gentleness are the qualities of the Self-possessed. They represent eternal virtue.”

Strive to live by this ideal, offering kindness and healing love to all. Then shall you feel God's all-embracing love flowing into your own heart.

Leave a comment

Ma, I wanted to feel your presence today and through this app, I am able to connect with you. Thank you SRF for this app. Thank you Guruji. Om Guru.

Lisa van Poyck

"Forgiveness is the Fragrance the Violet sheds on the heel that crushes it." ~~~ Mark Twain

Urvashi S

Thank you for sharing these inspiring words from Sri Daya Mataji. It may appear hard to put into practice these ideals, but there is no moving forward without forgiveness.


This must have been meant specifically for me at this exact time! :-) Much love to everybody at SRF.

Monika Bien

I always wanted to forgive, but had the wrong concept of i felt being trampled on again and again....through the talks of our order during the last months, i now came to a clearer understanding....i am filled with relief and gratitude....Jai Gurudev 🙏🌹

Molly Robertson

To be forgiven is a holy gift invoking sacred humbleness, and to forgive is a blessed cleansing of the heart and soul.


This was kismet. All night I was struggling to fall asleep because I thought I have forgiven and let go of the anger of my friend. Forgiven has not come easy like it usually does.


Thank you for posting this. I have been struggling over what to do about a relationship that has been very difficult and hurtful for many years. This really helps, as has the latest quotes from Master.

Kotaro Kuroiwa

I have just understood that to be a human rose we always need to remember this spiritual philosophy that in an imperfect world where goodness inevitably meets opposition, forgiveness is an expression of God-consciousness.

Ali RankinKotaro Kuroiwa

Your comment also made me think that the rose becomes more beautiful and stronger when nourished with manure. In the same way perhaps the human rose may become stronger and more beautiful when fed with the manure of unkindness that has been purified by our forgiveness.

Gurpreet Shinh

Daya Ma’s words act as mental aids that not only temporarily numb the mind against outward hurt and pain but also lead to lasting peace, understanding and strength to live rightly under worse trying conditions.

Patricia Harrison’S

This message was the perfect one for me today. I experienced hurt from a close family member earlier today and thought of some things to say in an angry response but I did not. As I read Daya Ma’s words, they completely calmed me and help me see the other person in a more loving light. I am at peace within and praying for the other person. To experience the same peace.

FrancisPatricia Harrison’S

For years, I have prepared hurtful remarks in my head to use against my siblings, even though we get together only rarely. It is such a waste of time and I pray master free me from this malicious attitude

Avva Rae

I believe I was brought to this space today just for this message and from my soul to yours I thank you deeply for the profound perspective and understanding.

Anita Neilson

A very timely reminder of the importance of forgiveness, as we remember this Easter Jesus Christ who so humbly showed ultimate forgiveness to his persecutors. Thank you. Jai Guru. Jai Ma.

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